How I Get Motivated

Made it through my first workout back in the gym today.

Vernon took it easy on me. That's sure to change. I've also had a good day back on the Ultra Fit meal plan. So that's a start.

What is it I've said way too many times in the past? One day at a time. One meal at a time.

The problem, as I'm sure you're all well aware, is motivation. Or to be more precise, lack of it. Finding that extra gear I had for most of 2008 just hasn't happened yet, no matter how many different tactics I take.

Or no matter how much John or anyone else tries to motivate me.

John has been a God-send to me and so many others with his expertise, his caring attitude and his persistence. But the one thing that doesn't work on me is heavy motivational tactics.

They never have. I was never the type of athlete that needed a locker room speech to get me going. I had no problem being motivated to play when the time came, and I honestly thought most of those tactics by coaches were a little lame. That's being as honest as I can be.

That carries over here. John can only do so much. Vernon can only do so much. Ultimately it falls squarely on my shoulders, and no amount of rah-rah or finger-wagging is going to make one bit of difference.

I have to find motivation in other ways, and to this point in 2009 it's been maybe the biggest challenge I've had in my life.

Then, out of the blue, two seemingly innocent incidents - separate of one another - happened in the last two days.

The first, yesterday, was an email I received from a lovely girl named Billie who has been following me on this journey since Day One. She also has weight issues, has had success with Ultra Fit, and was thanking me for - in her words - all I've done for her.

Kinda drives home the point that there are others out there watching, waiting, hoping. Sometimes you feel like you're in this fight alone. Sometimes you don't want to hear from other people.

But Billie's email touched me, as many of her letters have in the past. Perhaps she's my guardian angel during this point of my life. I'm not sure. I just hope she continues to fight and fight and fight some more. Because she's been as much an inspiration to me as she says I've been to her.

The second incident took place this evening.

I was in line at the grocery store and a young man very politely spoke to me, inquiring if he could ask me something personal. It was about my weight loss, and how it was going.

I told him that the last seven months have been a struggle, I'm sure I've put at least 25 pounds back on, and that my shopping cart was full of Ultra Fit plan food, seeing as how I started back on the program today.

He proceeded to tell me that two years ago he lost 160 pounds, doing cardio at the YMCA (he has a heart condition that doesn't let him lift weights) and following a healthy diet. Great story.

Then one night after church, he tells me, he got a craving for pizza. Went and got one, and ate the whole thing. That began a downward spiral that has seen him put back on 250 pounds.

There was a sadness in his eyes as he spoke. He was near tears. He mentioned he enjoyed John's segment on the show, and again reiterated that he just wanted to know how I was doing.

As I left I wished him good luck, and drove home with an gnawing feeling in the pit of my stomach. Only this time it wasn't hunger.

It was motivation.

That young man, along with Billie, did more for me in a combined span of probably five minutes than I've done for myself in the past seven months. That's why I did this weight loss effort publicly beginning in Dec. 2007. I wanted to be held accountable. I wanted support. I wanted to share experiences with those going through the same struggles.

How long does the motivation last this time around?

I have no idea.

Again, all I can do is take it one day, one meal at a time. And so far, it's one good day in the books.

Back in the gym at 7:30 a.m. And for the first time in a long time, I'm looking forward to being there.

Snooze Is Over

You can all rest easy. The world can get back to its usual dysfunction.

I go back into the gym with Vernon Monday morning.

I know I chose to do this weight loss program publicly, and that's been a big reason for the success I've had to this point. But you folks also need to remember I don't live everything in public. And like many of you, there are things that happen in my private life which can upset the ol' apple cart.

That's been the case this past month. Lots of stuff going on that I haven't shared with anyone, other than the brief snapshot I gave Vernon. My focus has been elsewhere. The diet has been non-existent. I don't know how much weight I've gained back, but we'll find out Wednesday.

But I'm going back to square one with this thing. No guarantees or pronouncements.

Just a man struggling with his weight and, in many ways, himself.