Sunday, April 5, 2009

Naked Truth

I'm scared. Mortified, even.

No matter what I tell myself, no matter how much I set my mind, no matter what John or Vernon say, I can't get motivated and get that edge back.

I'm afraid the switch has flipped off, and I can't turn it back on.

It's frustrating. Good day, bad day. Good meal, bad meal. Over and over again.

I've wasted three months, and I'm beginning to think that maybe this is as far as I'm going to get. The train has left the station, and I feel like I'm left standing on the platform.

How the hell does this happen? I wish I knew the answer.

All I know is I feel that wall building around me again.

And that terrifies me.

8 comments:

Don Munson said...

Dan those you love and those who are around you are not going to let that happen. Hang in there partner!

Mr. USA said...

The Two Wolves

One evening an Ultra Fit trainer told his client
about a battle that goes on inside people.
He said,

'My friend...
the battle is between two 'wolves'
inside us all.

One is Evil:
It is the lack of desire to be healthy, failure to achieve a worthwhile goal, cynicism, the lack of will, the lack of commitment,the lack of discipline and effort,and it is laziness.

The other is Good:
It is a commitment to good health, a desire to relentlessly pursue a goal, hope, faith, and success.
It is a better quality of Life and a longer life.
A beautiful life to spend and enjoy with your family.

The client thought about it for a moment...
And then: asked his trainer:

'Which wolf wins?'

The Ultra Fit Trainer simply replied,

"THE ONE YOU FEED."

Anonymous said...

Don't quit Dan. Just go to the gym when you don't want to and I promise, you will feel better as soon as you walk out.

Melissa said...

Dan - you have come so far and have done so well. Think of the reasons you started this in the first place - think of your family, your health, walking your girls down the aisle one day. You have done so well - let the bad feelings you're having give you the strength in your workouts. And I know you really will continue to succeed. You can do it!!! Lean on Don - he's there for you and he means it :) Can't wait to see you soon!

Cindy said...

Philippians 4:13--You can do it Dan! Keep moving forward! Cindy Vandervort

Anonymous said...

You are on a journey for the rest of your life. You could compare it to a the journey of Christianity. You will always make mistakes /commit sins, but you don't quit and decide I'm going to Hell and then do whatever you so desire. With food, at times you will slip. Truth is you are not going to live the rest of your life eating Ultra Fit meals. Why do you think you can now? Seems you need to think about sustainable life style changes. Eat less of the things you enjoy, walk daily and add in some weight lifting a couple of days a week. I

Whatever you do..........DO NOT QUIT!!!!

Anonymous said...

You have the support,that is not the problem but within you lies the doubt. The naked truth is this is not easy but it is not as difficult as you make it out to be. It is a commitment to your health and well being-giving up is not an option if you want to live longer. Stop feeding the EVIL wolf and get on with it and stop whining. Just do it - ONE DAY, ONE MEAL AT A TIME. Set small goals and work toward the big prize. Stop setting yourself up for failure.

Thomas Lawrence said...

You quit and I'll start listening to Plyler! ;-)

There, that ought to get you back on track!